I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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