Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i love accidental penises.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
