I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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