oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
