Jerry, you need to find god
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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