My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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