Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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