this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.