the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Barsexuality is the new black.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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