you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
