I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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