I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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