Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize