I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize