I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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