he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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