I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Drake has all the answers
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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