No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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