Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
