is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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