when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize