Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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