barbara walters just said penis...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
