Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
