Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize