If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
