the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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