Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
