the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
