I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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