wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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