i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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