Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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