Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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