so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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