im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
