My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize