I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
