I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
