what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
