Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
