Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
