My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
