True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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