Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
