The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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