New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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