thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
