quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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