At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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