You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
