Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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