just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
