I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
