i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.