Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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