I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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