I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
