Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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