you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
