dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
are you so shy because you have an std?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i believe in u and ur pee
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
