My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
